Saturday, 14 December 2013

This season - A tangled web of emotions

"Tis a season to be jolly, tra la la la la la, la la la la
Deck the halls with bells and holly, tra la la la la, la la la la"

And so the song goes.  But this year, this season brings a mixture of emotions; joy when I watch the glee on my daughter's face as she decorates the tree and helps select wrapping paper with which to wrap her cousin's Christmas presents and sadness because there's an empty chair at the Christmas lunch table.

This will be the first year that I don't have my special Mommy with me.  And I can't lie, it hurts like crazy.  I won't have that special hug and sweet smile from the person who gave me life.  And everyone around the table will be a reminder that she was the beginning of what we call family.

But I won't be too hard on myself.  I will take each moment as it comes and deal with it and not look too far into the future.  I've lost my Mommy and there's no way one can rush the grieving process. One can't erase the hurt with a magic wand.  Even though that wouldn't be a bad idea if there was such a thing.  It's difficult to be happy even though you know it IS the season to be jolly and to celebrate the world's greatest Gift.

So at this time I will spare a prayer and thought for others who too have lost someone dear to them and those who are lonely and have no family close.  I pray that God's Spirit will find them and speak into their hearts and let them know that  there is "a friend that sticks closer than a brother."