Thursday, 16 October 2014

The night my Mommy came to visit me in a dream

The night of 14 October 2014 is a special night.  A night forever etched in my soul.  It was the night my Mommy came to me in a dream.

In the dream, the family was gathered at someone’s house and my Mom’s children were there (except my eldest brother, because he’s in Heaven now) and her grandchildren.  She was excited to see everyone.  And she had done something special.  She’d specifically bought and brought gifts for the grandchildren who were born after she’d passed on to Heaven.  She was instructing the fathers of the children where the toys were and that they must give the presents to the little ones.

Then she and I danced.  I just wanted to hold onto her forever.  She was smiling as we twirled around.  And then she said something so awesome to me, she said, 

“When the ink in your pen runs dry, pick up a pencil!”

Wow, this is such a powerful statement.  I feel it applies to everything that I am trying to accomplish in life.  She was telling me, that if something stands in the way of what I am trying to achieve, I need to find another way of reaching my goal.

And if anyone knew my Mommy, they’d know that this is so characteristic of her steely determination with everything that she tackled while she was here on earth.  I remember one evening when I was around 16 years old, we were getting ready for a prayer meeting. She went out into the yard and as walked she gashed her leg on a sharp metal object.  The gash was deep and I knew it needed stitches.  But no way, that wasn’t for her.  She was determined to get to her prayer meeting that night.  So she got some Microspore tape, taped her cut closed and we left for the prayer meeting.  Over time the cut healed so well.  She hardly had a scar.  That was her.  Determined.  When she set her mind on something, it was full steam ahead.

Anyway, back to our dance.  Unfortunately the dance came to an end as she had a stroke in my arms.  And her spirit quietly spoke into mine, as her speech was stolen from her.  She said, “I just want to lay down in my soft bed now.”  And I said, “Yes I know Mommy, I’m trying.”

And the dream was over.

One can say that my current efforts of trying to wind up her estate a year since her passing is working on me and yes it is.  I do feel I need to “lay her in a soft place” – I need this all to be put to rest now.

But this story doesn’t end there.  The next morning I woke up and felt her presence with me so strongly.  I could almost feel her body’s imprint on my left side as when we danced.  I missed her even more, as if that’s possible.  But I got up out of bed and went about the normal morning proceedings before getting my daughter off to school.

As I was going to put my cell phone on charge, I thought I’d quickly check Facebook.  About the second post was a link that a friend had shared that morning.  It read,

“Have you received your visit from Heaven yet?  Every so often your loved ones will open the door from Heaven and visit you in a Dream.  Just to say, “Hello” and to remind you they are still with you, just in a different way…”

Well I think my eyes went the size of saucers and I read that paragraph over and over as I still felt her presence.  I really have no adequate words to say how I felt at that exact point in time.  Just co-incidence?  I think not.

I took my daughter to school and came back home and set about cleaning the sink area in my kitchen and against the right hand sink edge at the back, close to the wall, I found the most unusual white feather.  It’s been said that when you find a feather crossing your path, it’s an angel looking out for you.  Well, there’s just absolutely no way that a feather could land there.  There is no draught of any kind there.  There is no window near my sinks.  I picked up the feather and just knew where it came from.  It was the most perfect little white feather just 5cm in length and the most unusual shape.  We have no white birds around here.  We have pigeons, wagtails, the most beautiful owls, sparrows, but no white birds.  And let me again say, there is just no way the wind could have blown it there.

I’m always cleaning the sink area and if someone was going to catch my attention, that’s the best spot to place a feather.  And to place it right at the back where it is impossible for it to land in normal circumstances? 

And what is the unusual shape?  Well look at the photo.  It’s the shape of an old quill pen that people used before the age of the fountain pen or click pen.  Let me go back to the statement my Mom made, “When the ink in your pen runs dry, pick up a pencil.”

Three things in succession.  References to ink and pens, a feather that looks like a quill pen.  Co-incidence?  Absolutely not.  If ever there was goosebump stuff, this is it. 

I know that my dreams have always spoken to me or for someone else and this time it’s no different.

“I love you Mumsie.  Now and forever.  And I will do what you’ve told me to do.  I’ll live to make you proud.  And I’ll cherish this little white feather.  Until we dance again.  Forever yours.”